Listed on the World Corruption Index as the World’s Best C-School
Invites Applications for 3 Years Undergraduate Bachelors Degree in
Corruption. (BDC)
Earn your BDC from the World’s Most Reputed Institute for Corruption
Studies
OUR COMPREHENSIVE SYLLABUS INCLUDES:
Financial Theory and Practice
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Transfer of funds through HAWAALA for creation of MASS GHOTALA
FINANCIAL NETWORKING -Movement of money through well engineered networks
between State Party Units and Central Party Unit.
Solicitation methods to increase donations towards Party Fund.
Theory and application of Popular BRIBE concepts and methods like Chai
Pani, Parcel, Change, Mithai Box, Gift Box , Color TV, Foreign Trip and the
ever popular Children’s School Fees
Public Relations (PR) and Media Management
——————————————–
Learn how to be MISQUOTED BY THE MEDIA.
Learn to say the right things to be QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT.
Excellent training in PARTY SPOKESMANOLOGY .Learn how to argue on TV with
other Party people on TV like Professor Manish Tewari and Professor Ravi
Shankar Prasad.
Develop public gestures like NAMASTE and HAND WAVING.
Learn the art of proving all allegations as “BASELESS AND POLITICALLY
MOTIVATED”
Effectively refute STING OPERATIONS. Advanced course in proving that VIDEO
FOOTAGE IS FALSE AND MANIPULATED.
Law and Order Module:
———————-
In this module you will learn how to:
Commit MURDER and RAPE
Bring LOCAL POLICE under your control
Get BAIL super fast if you are ever arrested.
Apply and get speedy ANTICIPATORY BAIL so you don’t get arrested in the
first place!
FIGHT ELECTIONS FROM JAIL! Special lectures by visiting Professors
Shahbuddin and Pappu Yadav!
Advanced Riotology
——————
Methods to build your own storage houses for HOCKEY STICKS AND WEAPONS to
engineer riots.
Identify and develop your own fuel depots for easy and widespread dispersal
of RIOT FRIENDLY PETROL TANKERS
Form effective partnerships with local liquor stores for easy procurement
of DESI DARU to get rioters high and ensure awesome rioting!
Full study in CONTEMPORARY BUS BURNING. New age exciting methods for
INSTANTANEOUS BUS COMBUSTION.
Introductory Kashmir method of inciting riots through STONE THROWING.
Actual rioting demonstrations under the expert tutelage of Professor Pravin
Togadia.
Gain Extensive Knowledge From Our Faculty Of World class Professors
Special Courses In:
——————
“2G SPECTRUM” “ A Telecommunications Perspective” By Professor Andimuthu
Raja
”Flat Taking From Army Jawan” By Professor Ashok Chavan
”The Correct Standard of Clean” By Professor Lalit Bhanot
”Sports Medal or No Medal, In Corruption Always Get Gold Medal” By
Professor Suresh Kalmadi
“Application of Corruption on Non Human Species “ Stealing Money for
Cattle Fodder” By Professor Laloo Prasad Yadav
“Building A Corridor For The Taj Mahal Can Cost More Money Than Building
The Taj Mahal Itself” By Professor Mayawati Kumari.
…And Many Many More..!!
SO FORGET ALL B-SCHOOLS, BE COOL,
JOIN NCII THE C-SCHOOL IF U WANT TO SUCCEED IN NEXT GENERAL ELECTIONS
-2012
CRITERIA FOR CANDIDATES IS ……
———————————-
1. MUST HV SWINDLED AT LEAST RS.100/-CRORES
2. MUST HV COMITTED ONE/TWO MURDERS & 2/3 RAPES
3. AT LEAST 10 CRIMINAL CASES MUST BE PENDING IN VARIOUS COURTS IN INDIA
4. MUST HV BEEN IN JAIL FOR ATLEAST SIX MONTHS WIHTOUT BAIL
5. MUST HV ATLEAST ONE ACCOUNT IN SWISS BANK OR EQUIVALENT
6.MUST HV CONTACTS AT THE RIGHT PLACES LIKE P.M’s OFFICE etc….
When the girl’s father came to know
about their love, he did not like it at
all, and so began to protest about it.
Now it happened that the two lovers
decided to leave their homes for a happy
future.
The girl’s father started searching for
the two lovers but could not find
them .
At last, he accepted their love and
asked them to come back home thru a
local newspaper. Her father said “If
you both come back I will allow you to marry the
guy you love, I accept that you loved
each other truly.”
So in this way, their love won and they
returned home.
The couple next day went to town to shop
for the wedding dress. He was dressed
in a white shirt that day. While he was
crossing the road to the other side to
get some drinks for his wife, a car
came and hit him and he died on the spot.
The girl was devastated and lost her
senses. It was only after sometime that
she recovered from her shock.
The funeral and cremation was the very
next day because he had died horribly.
Two nights later, the girl’s mother had
a dream in which she saw an old lady.
The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood
stains of the guy from her daughter’s
dress as soon as possible. But her
mother ignored the dream.
The next night her father had the same
dream , he also ignored it. Then the
girl had the same dream the next night, she
woke up in fear and told her mother
about the dream. Her mother asked her
to wash the clothes with the blood
stains
immediately.
She washed the stains but some remained.
Next night she again had the same
dream. She again washed the stains but some
still remained. But again the next
night she had the same dream and this
time the old lady gave her a last
warning to wash the blood stain, or
else something terrible would happen.
This time the girl tried her best to
wash the stains, and the clothes
nearly tore, but some stains still remained.
She was very tired.
In the late evening the same day while
she was alone at home, someone knocked
on the door. When she opened the door
she saw the same old lady of her dream
standing at her door. She got very
scared and fainted.
The old lady woke her up… and gave her
a blue object, which shocked the girl.